Dear Diary,

I miss him so, I really do. I wondered if he did too? It has been a week since I last saw him, it has been 4 days since I last saw his name appearing in my inbox, it has been 3 days since I last heard you teasing me over the phone..

I don't know what is going on. I wanted to why, the reason behind.. Hence on the second thoughts maybe I don't. Because I am afraid the reality will be too hard for me to accept it. I saw you online, I have so much so to tell you, I clicked on your name, your page popped up in my screen, but my fingers can hardly move when I tried going near to the keyboard. Suddenly I forgot every single thing I wanted to question and tell you about.

What's wrong? What am I going through? Why am I feeling this way? Shouldn't I be well prepared that you will become my memory and it's just a matter of time. Did I not control myself well enough? Or isit the feelings are just out of control?

You said you are afraid of commitment, you don't like to be control. I heard.

You told me you when you popped me the question " Do you love me? " ; you wanted so much for the answer to be a " Yes". I was happy. Happiness that cannot be expressed in words.

You asked me what do you want us to be? I know very well what are the barriers that are between us, also I highly doubt you are ready. I don't want you to be with me for the sake of being with me. Neither have the thought of tying you down nor owning you ever came across my mind. At no time have I ever requested for your obligations, your 24/7, your 100%.. All that I ever required is just for you to be here for me whenever I need you. Is that overwhelming or a very difficult task to you?

You know, I am really putting in alot of efforts to try not to think of you. But my attempt doesn't seems to be useful at all. I am utterly disappointed in myself, I thought I have learned my lesson from my previous failed relationships. But apparently I am wrong.

I merely wanted to be the one you will think of when you are down, because you know you can count on me. The one you that will come across your mind when you over the moon, because you know I am more than willing to share your happiness.

Can I?

Yours Faithfully,

Bessie Teo