There's so many things in my heart left unspoken. No place, no one for to to tell everything to. How I wish you're here to hear me our like you always does. But it don't seems to be possible anymore. And so I'm telling all these to myself. Actually I ve been trying really hard to forget everything about you. & it's really not so easy. In the morning when I open my eyes, at night during bedtime, at home, on the streets, at work... your shadows just keep appearing infront of my very eyes. I tried deleting your number, your pictures away from my phone. But I just cant do it. I dont know why but I just cant bring myself to do it. Maybe that's because until now I'm still waiting for you dumbly. I told myself to stop everything! But I just couldn't control my heart. I fucking hate this kinda feeling, my heart ache whenever I think of you.

I want, I need, I gotta, I wish, I long, I just have to forget all these because-of-you-they-become-pretty-memories and also those-because-of-you-they-become-nightmares-memories. I'll also forget the sentence you once told me " I'll always be your first and your last.. "