So it was Novus function yesterday, went back to help as requested. Was pretty excited to be back at somewhere I used to love, hate. Memories stay as we go on. Afterall, it wasn't as fun as thought it to be but well, it wasn't that bad either. Like what claris says, it doesn't seems 1000pax to me either. Saw quite a number of celebrities here and there, alot of gays of all ages and my long lost hot girlfriend too! Basically it was pleasant working I would say. & thanks, the rose really did make my day. {:

Dear you,

You got me thinking day and night. I don't know where I stand deep down there in your tiny little heart. It's like you can surprise me with texts in the middle of the night 2am telling me you woke up from your dream and couldn't get back to bed again because you're missing me right then. But then again, you always forget to call me back when you said you will call me back later. So what are all these? You're always telling me you misses me alot, love you sweetheart and blah blah blah. But hey, why aren't you doing anything except sweet talkings? I know, I know and I remembered you once told me that you believe in fate; If it meant to be yours, it will yours eventually. Well, let me tell you there's time when fate can disappoint you too. At the end of the day you fight for what you want, you earn your respect, nothing comes just like this.. I really don't like your 'mak bodoh attitude' at times. Initially I thought it was just a crush but now I think it's something more than that. How far will all these get us? Time will tell.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

The Bottom Line :
Today marks the beginning of a very independent period for you -- enjoy solo time.

In Detail
Today marks the beginning of a very independent period for you -- you can expect to start feeling a lot more interested in doing what you want to do and less interested in joining up with your gang of friends. Dinner alone now suddenly seems like a wonderful idea instead of an exercise in trying not to look lonely. Going to a movie by yourself will enable you to fully engage in the action onscreen instead of hushing your friends. Enjoy your solo time -- without apology.

Didn't I just mentioned I wasn't that lonely afterall. & now horoscope is asking be to enjoy being alone. Wtf?

I was looking back at my organizer of year 2007 and 3/4 of the month of November. I realised I'm not that lonely afterall. I've many many lovelies that I wanto tell them I love you alot alot alot. I wanto say I love Aloysious, Aziera, Bani, Bao, Bingwey, Celestine, Christy, Christopher, Claris, Diana, Edward, Eve, Foody, Graham, Hector, Ida, Jasper, Jingni, Jonas, Kenric, Khalid, Lester, Mark, Mercy, Nachi, Peiyi, Rachel, Razek, Roger, Sarah, Serene, Shalom, Shania, Sijie, Valerie, Weiquan, Xinjie, Yankeng and last but not least Zakir!

I went for 2 interviews today and amazingly I got through both. And now I cant decide which will be a better choice. Dior, as a beauty consultant. 6/hour with a bonus of 2% commission of my sales. Black top, tailored black pants with no pocket, 2 and the half inches black heels, pony tailed hair, thick makeup( as in foundation, mascara.. everything on ), nails must be coloured and no necklace. Hence, on the other hand, there's this newly opened female apparents shop located at 1 small corner of bugis street employing sales assitant. 5/hour with 1bucks per piece sold commission. No uniform, free and easy.

How? I'll earn more under Dior, but I'll be happier working at bugis. Besides, I won't have anyone supervising me except for my boss once awhile. However, I'll learn more things and skills if I'm working with Dior. Aww, which one will you pick if you were to be Bessy?

Quit smoking is hard, but I'm tougher. I've made up my mind to quit smoking once and for all. {:

Frankly, I'm one who pretty much trust my own instinct alot. And I don't deny the fact that I like to assume things alot too. For these, people call me paranoid. Am I? Once bitten, twice shy. I used to trust people very easily, for that I always trust the wrong one and got myself into alot of shits. Some says I'm gullible, naive and some says I'm just plain stupid. But you know that's me, I don't like people to doubt me so I don't doubt people that's why I trust them. I always believe that people will treat you the way you treat them, but apparently from what I experienced, my believe is wrong. The nicer you are to them, the more they find you harmless and the more they want to climb over your head & dance above. Humans are the scariest creature on earth, I would say.

Can I ever trust you that if I give you my heart and you'll never break it?

Things are getting better at home. But I'm still jobless. }: Went for a couple of interviews, and everyone tells me the same thing. 'Please wait for our phonecalls.' But I doubt they will. Well, we shall see. Guys, I'll appreciate if you introduce me some awesome jobs right now. Heh!

I figured and I realised all good things come to an end. But why? Sometimes we find truly nice buddies, but we left them behind along the way and they are the ones whom I hope I would retrieve one fine day. At the end of the day, no matter how independent you are, everyone just need friends to walk you through everything. Not too many, a couple of true friends will do. Dear god, thankyou for my bunch-ful of them. & you know who you're, yes you the one reading this entry right now! The ones that I would like to share my ups and downs in life with. I just wanto tell you guys, thankyou. {:

Do you know that everyday when I opened my eyes and look at my handphone, the one thing that I hope is either a missed call or text from you. Because you're my daily essential, you're my happy pills. Everytime when you are at the other end of the phoneline, my heart is skipping very fast and I'm always at the loss of words. I don't why am I feeling this way. I wanto know how you feel deep down there. When you called me sweetheart, do you mean it or are you just kidding? I don't like to play what we called 'mind game'. When it's about you, I'm so lost. Sometimes, I told myself ' Well, it's just him. So fuck it! '. But when I come to think of it again, you know, I can't leave and I can't stay. If you said you love me, please show me how much I mean to you. Because for everything I forget everyday, I always forget to forget to miss you..

I think I'm going to become a pig real soon. Eat, play and sleep, that's my current life. /: It's good in a way, like you don't have to worry about anything at all when you open your eyes in the morning, do everything at your own time, no rush nothing. However, on the other hand, I'm wasting my everyday doing nothing. Mummy kept on giving me different no.s everyday and telling me the same stuffs before she goes for work, ' remember to call them and get appointment for interview alright? '. But I'm too lazy to be bother. Dear god, please do something about this lazy fatty here. Please give her some motivation to not be so lazy from tomorrow onwards!

Overdose of cherries today! Hot chocolate with cherries, midori with cherries, cherry brandy with cherries. {: I love cherries! If you know me well, you know I'm that kinda girl when you tell me I look good in this dress.. I'll keep wearing the same dress over and over again. Or rather should I put it in another way, I love Char Kuay Tiao alot. So I don't mind having it for all breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yes, that's Bessy.


So don't offend Bessy, because if I hate you.. I'll hate you til forever and a day. It's not that I bear grudges. In fact, I don't! It's just that I forgive but I don't forget. People says I've got no temper, whenever I got teased I'll just smile along. Alot of times it's my friends who witnessed everything that are more pissed off than me when I got teased and often they'll ask ' why aren't you angry? '. I mean why should I be angry over some little jokes? The times when I mind when others take me as a joke had passed. {:

There's always times when you need a shoulder to lean on when you're tired. A smile to cheer you up when you're down, a hug that tells you that everything is gonna be alright and a kiss to confirm who am I to you. No matter how independent I am.

In life, some people just come and go, some are just here to irritate you, some that are always just a phonecall away, some that you took half your lifetime searching for, some that you became more than just a friend .. There are so many different kinds of people in this small world. It's all up to us to decides who stays and who we should say goodbye to. You play your own game, winner or loser it all depends on how you want the ending to be. Be it happy or sad it's still a day, and it takes more energy to cry than to smile. So why not smile your day through? - This is how I cheer myself up when I'm down.

Afterall, everyday's not going to be a good day. It takes a mistake to allow me to learn from it, it takes a wrong step to guide me to the right way, and it takes a booboo to enjoy my success. {:

I believe everything happened for a reason & the reason is for you to find out. As for me, the reason find it's way to disclosed itself to me almost every time when something happened.. Also, expect the unexpected ; believe the unbelievable.

" There I was, 1 minute getting to know you, enjoying you, and wondering where it would all lead.. And the next, thinking about you all the time, knowing I never, ever wanted to be without you! I guess that's the way life is. You're going along doing your everyday things, and out of the blue, life surprises you with something amazing - something you had no idea how much you wanted. That's what you are to me. You know, an amazing gift. Falling in love with you is something I hadn't expected, but being in love with you is something I couldn't stop even if I tried. What I'm trying to say is you are 'it' for me now & forever. " from my friend to his girlfriend. And I find it very sweet, so I quoted everything to share it here with you.

Dear you, can you tell me what are we? Who am I to you? I don't like playing guessing game, it's not fun and it's tiring. One moment you could treat me like a princess, surprises me with things I never expect you to do it for me. Next moment you clearly show me that we're just friends, nothing more. Sometimes what you did just hurt me so much. You come as you wish, you go as you feel like. What do you take me as? A toy? or a someone to keep you company when no one else in your contact is free? How much do I meant to her, have this question ever comes across your mind? And do you have any idea what's the answer to that question? Seriously, I'm not sure myself. I'm not ready to commit but I'm afraid to let you go. What shoud I do? You promised that you're not going to let me tear again but I just did again. few minutes ago. You're still the same Hector that I knew 4years back. And please dont fucking taking me for granted.

I think smoking is as cool as cucumber. But at the second thought, hey why are you paying to kill yourself? Mom found a pack of fags in my bag, she was pissed shocked. & she wants me to quit or she'll never cook me good food ever again. So Food or Fag?

Yay! Good stuffs coming its' way, my week is scheduled with awesome programmes. {: Oh by the way, I took part in this cleo Anna Sui Contest. I hope I win.

Oh dear, didn't Granny told you what goes around, comes around?

Sometimes I asked myself what do I exactly wants in life. Do I really want to be as rich as William Gates or I just want to get marry and becomes someone dear wife who go nowhere and stays home, cook, eat, sleep and give birth? Idk? I felt so lost when this question hits me so hard on my brain. I realised I've neglected so many things so many people all this while. Hereby, I just want to say I'm sorry. I promise I'll try to balance myself well with everyone/things.

Look! Who's back? After sometimes, I figured you deserve a treat and so I've decided to be back to revamp this site. {:

Oh it's a new year, Happy 2008 sweets! Aww.. times flies really fast. In a blink of eyes, there goes 2007. Everything that had happened last year, be it good or bad, I still remember every single little one of them vividly...

I drifted with Hingwai after she got attached and I 'closed down' my online shop early last year, Chinese New Year I suffered great losses in gambling, My o's result was a disappointment, Taiwan trip with dearest Eve was fabulous, April, I joined Novus, Lasalle-sia and was at City harvest almost every saturdays, 18th May 2007 my birthday was held at east coast & dad bought me a new laptop, Celestine and I became bestfriends in June, After 21 months, I broke up with Hector in July and still celebrated Jingni's birthday together 2 days later, In August I started giving primary school kids tuition, I got to know Jasper and I had my first stick, September I left Novus but I made a bunch of good friends (Yankeng, Roger, Shalom, Valerie, Merilynn, Ming ...) in Lasalle-sia and I started clubbing, October got to hang out with Kenric & co. more and lester too, mid october I went back to Novus and I met Bani, November was crazy, sleepless nights rushing projects almost everyday, and I got to know someone called Ash, late november novus staffs party @ Km8 & Cafe Del Mar, I was so wasted but I had much fun thou, December is the best compared to the other 11 months, even though I fell into a hole in the courtyard of Novus, I joined Acid bar and I made alot of new buddies (Claris, Sarah, Khalid, Elgin, Shania, Sue, Diana, Liana, Rozel, Weesuan, Andy ...) and learned alot of new things, late december staffs party @ rouge was alright i enjoyed myself alot & Claris's birthday at acid was a good one. & I spent the last day of 2007 @ ppc.

Reminiscing the past made me realise I've actually came this far. 2007 was not too bad, Bessy. But make 2008 even better alright? {: